Sunday, December 27, 2015

2015 By the Numbers

Image result for 2015

2015 was the year of the gun. In 2015 I ran less but trained more and more diversely. It was a transition year that during some points were very melancholy and other times was very exciting.


Miles ran- 801 When I was lamenting about how few miles I ran this year a good friend of mine laughed and reminded me how I just ran as far as "normal" people.  The motivation wasn't there at times but I hope to get it back.

Miles biked- 209 I cross trained more this year. Most bike miles ever I think. Mostly Mountain Bike.

Other miles- 21 hiking,walking,rucking etc..

Total miles- 1031..869 miles less than last year. I need to ramp it up again


I participated in 7 races this year. 13 less than last year but I took an 8 month break from racing. I didn't race on the road at all this year.

1-Adventure Race
1- Mountain Bike Race
3- Other trail races


My first full year as a Paramedic I ran over 200 calls. I was lead on about 150 of these. Ran my first code without a net as the Paramedic in charge. I expect to run more on 2016.

Shooting and Training

I became heavily involved in self defense/firearms training this year. Both taking training and giving it. I expect this to continue as I have started my own firearms training business.

Firearms Training Courses taken- 7
Contact Weapons/Defensive Tactics Courses taken-4
Instructor Credentials obtained-3
CCW classes instructed- 30

Random Numbers

Years since joining US Army-33
Years since retirement-10
Years since Ranger School-27
Years since Q course- 25
Number of jobs I have quit since retirement- 2
Number of jobs I currently have- 3
Number of Reserve LEO Departments- 2
Number of EMS Agencies-3

Thats it. 2016 is waiting

Friday, December 18, 2015

Carl Creely

Today was the 25th anniversary of my graduation from the Special Forces Qualification Course. I posted as much on Facebook. Eventually the comments on the subject turned to a fallen classmate, Carl Creely. I am embarrassed to say that the sands of time had clouded my brain on the subject. However I would like to correct that error. Carl was my classmate in the 18B Weapons Sergeant Course. He was a quiet man and a proud Infantryman. He was not the highest achiever in our class nor the lowest. Carl was a good, steady, level headed NCO.

Our infiltration parachute jump into Phase 3 (Robin Sage) was a night time combat equipment static line jump from a CASA 212 aircraft. Carl was on different "stick" than the one I was on so most of my information is hearsay. Reportedly Carl made a tree landing breaking his pelvis. The pain being so great he incorrectly undid the leg straps of his parachute before he undid the chest strap in an attempt to climb down form the tree. It was reported variously that Carl hung himself tragically on his chest strap or he bled out from the pelvis injury. What is not up for discussion is that he was transported to the hospital where he lingered a few days and then he passed. Carl was one of the countless unsung warriors that have died for their country in training accidents and non combat related incidents. I honor his service.

De Oppressor Liber and Blue Skies

Sunday, December 13, 2015

I Am An Imposter

So I want to let you all in on a little secret..I am an imposter. You may think I am a retired Special Forces soldier with multiple awards and recognitions but I am an imposter. You may think I am the Manager of a successful office with a 7 million dollar budget but I am an imposter. You may even think I am a competent Paramedic but I am an imposter. This is the way I have felt my entire life. I have always felt that I didn't belong, that despite my success that if people really knew me they would know I am a fraud.

Tonight I was driving home listening to a podcast and they started talking about the "Imposter Syndrome." They started talking about me!! Almost every single thing they talked about I have experienced at one time or the other. Imposter syndrome is experienced by high achievers and has been experienced by almost 70% of the population worldwide. So I am not alone.

People that experience this syndrome tend to be diligent, but they feel they are phonies. They can be charming but avoid showing confidence. They feel that any  accomplishments they have come from luck or that they somehow "gamed" the system. Albert Einstein may have suffered from this syndrome.

So how to fix this? Just knowing how I feel has a name has already made it easier to deal with. Writing this blogpost is also helping. I am  going to use some of the coping therapies suggested in this article 21 Ways to Overcome Imposter Syndrome. The biggest thing I am going to do to quit feeling like I don't deserve what I have.  Thanks for listening.