Naval gazing

I don't write a lot of posts about sentimental things but this week has been one of those weeks. It is a week that has caused me to be introspective and think about things I don't normally worry about. Things like my mark on the world and imminent death. Contemplating my own naval as I call it. Why am I even worrying about this things? This past week 2 individuals that I knew and worked with passed away. We were not best friends or anything but I did talk to them quite a bit during different times. Their deaths made me think about my own and I can only hope that my death causes someone to think as well.

Ron was an employee of mine who passed away in his easy chair on a Sunday afternoon. He apparently went in his sleep so it was presumably painless. Ron was a steady, punctual and dependable man who seemed to love his job. Ron would stop by my office everyday and greet me as he left for the day. Occasionally we would talk about baseball as I umpire it and he was a huge fan. We definitely had the employer-employee relationship but he was a genuinely nice guy and his death has affected me in a strange way. It seems like a cliche but it is my thought that he went way too young and somehow he didn't deserve to. His death made me think about what I am doing with my life and if I died in the next minute would I be proud of what I have done?

Dick was friend of mine from church, he was an older gentleman that was a pillar of our congregation. He always included my children or tried to get them to participate in activities at church.Even though they pretended not to like it I knew they appreciated his attention. If it was captaining a fish fry or helping set up for an outdoor service Dick was their to lend a helping hand. Such a kind and decent man should surely have a place at the right hand of God. I hope when I shuffle off this mortal coil I will have affected as many people's lives as he did.

Just sitting here typing this is making my mind wander to places I shouldn't let it go. I will close by saying thank you gentleman for letting me be part of your life and for influencing mine.

Rest in Peace

Random Thoughts

When I started this blog over 2 years ago it was supposed to be a place I could tell my war stories and talk about things that interested me. And that is what I did, that is what I still do. However as I move farther and farther in time from my military career the stories about actual war get less and the "war stories" become more common. Anyone that has read this blog for awhile knows I have become heavily involved in running ultra distances so although I am not ready to turn this into a running blog sometimes it feels like I already have. But those are my stories, I don't get shot at much anymore, but the pain and suffering of running 50 or 100 miles sure makes me feel like I am back in some of those places and times.

And now for some random thoughts:

If you are going to call 911 for your elderly relative who has fallen off the bed, has obviously wet herself and cannot get up because of the sepsis in her leg, at least have the decency to act concerned. Her 103 degree temperature didn't happen instantly and  you just hung out in the living room watching TV while an ambulance crew and 5 fireman tended to her and got her to the hospital. This without you even asking how she was. Pisses me off.

Conversely if you are pregnant but smoke and drink well into the pregnancy and lose the baby, I don't feel sorry for your dumbass. I do however pray for the unfortunate child.

I think I would have made a good cop, if I didn't follow the path I did I mean. However no regrets things happen for a reason.

In all seriousness ( and maybe a little weirdness) I often think I was born in the wrong time. I  think I should have been my father's age as I have a great nostalgia for the 1960's and the military of that time. I believe I would have fit in very well with the Special Forces soldiers of that period and Vietnam should have been my war. Not sure why I think this, I have always just felt that way even in high school.

Don't let this get around but the dirty little secret is for a professional soldier war is fun. Sure I was never seriously injured and maybe that is why I think this way but it is more of the fact that we were masters of our own destiny. We were out running missions with the full power of the last great superpower at our beck and call. We took no shit from anyone and answered to no one but our chain of command. I made lifelong friendships and have memories I will never forget.

I could live pretty good just eating pizza and pancakes

I have developed this phobia about math. I never was that great at math but I did take calculus in high school so I wasn't a total neophyte. However in the last few years even simple math problems give me stage fright. I can do them on the calculator but hand me a pencil and let someone watch and I can literally screw up 2 + 2. My mind just locks up and the harder I try the harder it is is to focus. Very bizarre.

I'm denying it but I probably will need to start wearing full time bifocals soon. Been wearing "cheaters" for a few years but my eyes are getting worse.

Some things I used to do a lot and now no longer do at all- drink beer, skydive, scuba dive, read science fiction or actual books for that matter, and play video games

Things I do instead- run, think about running, read books on my kindle, blog, emergency medicine, law enforcement

I weigh the same now in 2012 that I did in 1992. Pretty happy about that. Hair is no longer black though, finally changed it to grey on the drivers license last renewal.

I think about my old Special Forces teammates and some of my friends from the 82nd Airborne and 10th Mountain at least once a day. Something will just remind me of a training exercise or something. I miss those guys.

Well enough rambling, got a race coming up this weekend and next post we will be back to your regularly scheduled broadcast.


OLD ME


NEW ME


Some things don't change